Oddly enough, Pink was in it, yes, the singer. Having no preconceived evidence of what this movie is about whatsoever I watched it. I don't even remember reading what it was about, I'm not sure what possessed me to watch this movie. But I watched the whole entire thing, which I'm always proud of me sitting through a movie I have no clue what is about nor do I like the sort of movie.
It was a "horror" type of film. It started off with the beginning (As I love) with her narrating about how she went to Paris because her sister sent her a postcard and now her sister "Pink" aka Carolyn (whose name I still think is Katherine......) and everybody she's ever met [in Paris] is dead.
So Pink's friend (I'll call her Pink for sake of recognition) is a huge douche who loves to scare people. Not saying I am not a douche for scaring people as just yesterday I enjoyed great pleasure of kicking in a door after someone opened it and saying "BANG" to scare them. So they go to raves and parties in the Catacombs of Paris.
Actually, the movie starts off with people in a rave and we're like "...okay wtf?" the whole time until Shannyn Sossamon's character, Victoria, comes in and receives the postcard.
So then they go into the Catacombs and party and then the rest of the movie takes place in the enigma of "hallways".
Pink dies and then she gets scared by this "Anti-Christ" and goes into his lair (as they always do) and escaped. She then goes back to the rave and then the Police breaks up the party and then Victoria randomly gets knocked out.. I'm still confused how this happens.
After that she finds a RANDOM flashlight laying on the ground and then gets up... AND TURNS AROUND?!?!?! She was going in the direction where everybody else was! She was already halfway out the door and then goes back to the party area and into the mysterious hallways that have no ends, beginning, or direction!!!
Then for about 20 some minutes of the movie she is wandering around these tunnels coming to dead ends and cages... and weird shit.
She then finds a man by the name of Henry after climbing these mysterious stairs and falling. He steals her gargantuan flashlight. I mean HUGE flashlight. She stuck her hand through a cage-ish door thing and she had the flashlight through it and it was about as big as her arm.
As this is all happening and she is following him, I am wondering why she didn't pick up the flashlight he threw at her after stealing her's and where she got this HUGE flashlight. But he has a map. And Victoria can't speak a lick of French. She knows "Je m'appelle Victoria." That's it. Which she doesn't even use on Henry (Who is French) she just says "I'm Victoria." She could have at least used the French she knew and said that.
So then they walk around and Henry leads her to a place where he can get drunk. She falls asleep and then wakes up to find him gone. They find each other again after about two seconds and then start going. Henry falls through the floorboards and his bone is protruding out of his skin. Yummers.
So then she tries to lift him which she can't and then says to use two hands becuase the map is in the hand he wasn't using. So she steals the map and leaves him. Which made me mad, but he sort of deserved it for being dumb, drunk, and stealing her flashlight.
She then walks around, gets turned around some how and finds Henry not in his hole. He tries to strangle her (I'm confused) and she gets free.
She then leaves the map she risked her life for to run away. She then finds "METRO" lines and follows them to a box to lead her up to the Metro area tunnel thing with the door she can't open. Oh yes, she found a pick-axe in a wheelbarrow.
This is what I would have done: After finding this electrical box for the Metro I would have turned it off so then people would be like "WTF MY TRAIN STOPPED!" and people would have to find the problem so then they'd have to come find me. Mad, yes. But I would have been found.
So then apparently the Anti-Christ is behind this Metro door (Which made no logical sense by the way Victoria is crazed) so she runs back to the Catacombs............. wtf?
But then Pink is really alive; as my sister and I thought would have happened. We were like "muhahaha what if Pink is really alive and just comes back and was like 'haha fooled ya'" at the end. And I said "Or she just goes crazy and then wakes up with Pink next to her insane asylum bed." Because I love movies to end in Insane Asylum's. Good stuff.
But anyways, Victoria Pick Axe's Pink's lovah in the face becuase she thought he was Anti-Christ but Hugo had a crazy pig...beaver....devil mask and was chasing her. And then Pink goes insane and yells at her like she has a mental issue. She was like "WHAT THE FUCK YOU CUNT ASS BITCH YOU KILLED HIM YOU'RE SO MESSED UP! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! blah blah blah blah!" And then as this is happening, Victoria get's this look on her face, and I KNOW that look, and then we cut to the pick axe in her hand bouncing around as we then pan to her face to see a smirk as she raises the pick axe and picks Pink to death as well as Hugo and more Frenchies.
So then we go back to her narration of everybody and Pink is dead becuase of "Carolyn" sending her a postcard.
But I loooooooooooooooooooved the ending. That was the only good part about the movie. I loved it becuase I took a "theme" away with it. As "Nothing is as it seems."
Y'see, in the beginning we believe to whatever is living down in the Catacombs to have killed her sister & everybody ahh but it was her! Irony. GREAT irony. Good ending. Good ending.
I recommend the movie, but only give it two stars for the horrible rising action. BECAUSE THERE WAS A CHICKEN IN THE CATACOMBS! Okay if this was all really a prank there wouldn't have been a chicken in there and all these tools in a room to this "Lair" ... plooot hole. Is all I gotta say.
