The gayest veggie pizza you'll ever eat.

I only signed on to comment a blog written by B.McManus. It was her reaching out to the closeted community of followers she has on her blogging. I came out a few days ago. Really a couple days.
Two days exactly.
Probably around this time too.
Oh no, I lied.

It was around mid-day.

It was an awkward coming out type of story.
She wanted to "get to know me" and asked me a series of questions.
One of which asked if I had a boyfriend, and if not why.
In which I responded with "I'm for surely a big dyke."
I was feeding my cat at the time of coming out too.
I think that's +20 in gay points.

But now she's makin' jokes.
"Hey Ma! How do you make Schweddy Oreo Balls?" (Referring to me making Oreo Balls for Christmas time and the SNL skit I decided to watch before making my Schweddy balls.)
"You have a lot of hot sex."
Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
Seriously?
That's RIDICULOUS!!!!!

I love it.
I feel awkward as hell around her now though. Like she's always gonna bring it up.
But oh well. What's done is done. I feel really really relieved and awkward.
She doesn't care about it either. So I'm "accepted". I suppose. Which is good, I guess.

After promptly explaining "I just know I am." I asked "So do you care?" She responded with "No."
But I'm pretty sure she does, but I won't look into it.
She asked me if I had a boyfriend but never asked me if I had a girlfriend.
I wish I did at this exact moment in time so I could just be keeping one thing from her.

And then on in the night we made veggie pizza. (Which my friend brought up, cuz she said it was coolio that my mum didn't care cuz afterward we baked.)
And then I went to my friends house where we got jiggy & did illegal things. But not sexual illegal things. But I went to the same friend's house my mom thinks I'm gay with. She asked about her in our gay conversation. It was really awkward.
"Is Ang gay?"
"Uh..... not anymore." (Which is semi-true. She's just had a boyfriend for so long it trumps her ever having a girlfriend for right now.)
"Haha. Does she have a boyfriend?"
"Uh, not anymore."

So then I went to her house.
"So what'd your mom say?" I texted her promptly (about an hour or so) afterward.
"Uh. She was like 'Is Ang gay?' and I responded with 'Not anymore.'" (And then here comes the flack of wah-wah's. Aka a lot of laughter.)
"What else did she say?"
"About you? Nothing."
I think if I brought up her ex bf she'd be pretty peeved. Like pissed. Like she'd strangle me at 2am.

in lieu of B to the Ridget McMann always posting photos at the end of her blogs, here's my homage to her. (for giving me the shove (or as Jack Donaghy would say, lured me with a puppy to the deep end of the pool and shoved me in) into coming out into the deep end of the pool and accomplishing something. and now I have no New Years resolution. god damn.)

(veggie pizza is da bomb.)

Cut Hair

A few days ago:

"When did you chop off all your hair?"
"...Uh A really long time ago?"
"...How long is a really long time ago?"
"About a week or two ago?"
"Oh... Cuz that side looks longer than--
"Yeah I know."
"...Kay."

With my mother.

We were at the dinner table. Must not have looked at me for a few weeks. Hm?
Thought so.
Thanks.

Movie Review: Catacombs

Recently, yesterday, I watched a movie entitled "Catacombs". I cannot tell you why I watched this movie solely based on the reason to I cannot remember what made me choose this movie out of every single movie in On Demand.

Oddly enough, Pink was in it, yes, the singer. Having no preconceived evidence of what this movie is about whatsoever I watched it. I don't even remember reading what it was about, I'm not sure what possessed me to watch this movie. But I watched the whole entire thing, which I'm always proud of me sitting through a movie I have no clue what is about nor do I like the sort of movie.

It was a "horror" type of film. It started off with the beginning (As I love) with her narrating about how she went to Paris because her sister sent her a postcard and now her sister "Pink" aka Carolyn (whose name I still think is Katherine......) and everybody she's ever met [in Paris] is dead.

So Pink's friend (I'll call her Pink for sake of recognition) is a huge douche who loves to scare people. Not saying I am not a douche for scaring people as just yesterday I enjoyed great pleasure of kicking in a door after someone opened it and saying "BANG" to scare them. So they go to raves and parties in the Catacombs of Paris.

Actually, the movie starts off with people in a rave and we're like "...okay wtf?" the whole time until Shannyn Sossamon's character, Victoria, comes in and receives the postcard.

So then they go into the Catacombs and party and then the rest of the movie takes place in the enigma of "hallways".

Pink dies and then she gets scared by this "Anti-Christ" and goes into his lair (as they always do) and escaped. She then goes back to the rave and then the Police breaks up the party and then Victoria randomly gets knocked out.. I'm still confused how this happens.

After that she finds a RANDOM flashlight laying on the ground and then gets up... AND TURNS AROUND?!?!?! She was going in the direction where everybody else was! She was already halfway out the door and then goes back to the party area and into the mysterious hallways that have no ends, beginning, or direction!!!

Then for about 20 some minutes of the movie she is wandering around these tunnels coming to dead ends and cages... and weird shit.

She then finds a man by the name of Henry after climbing these mysterious stairs and falling. He steals her gargantuan flashlight. I mean HUGE flashlight. She stuck her hand through a cage-ish door thing and she had the flashlight through it and it was about as big as her arm.

As this is all happening and she is following him, I am wondering why she didn't pick up the flashlight he threw at her after stealing her's and where she got this HUGE flashlight. But he has a map. And Victoria can't speak a lick of French. She knows "Je m'appelle Victoria." That's it. Which she doesn't even use on Henry (Who is French) she just says "I'm Victoria." She could have at least used the French she knew and said that.

So then they walk around and Henry leads her to a place where he can get drunk. She falls asleep and then wakes up to find him gone. They find each other again after about two seconds and then start going. Henry falls through the floorboards and his bone is protruding out of his skin. Yummers.

So then she tries to lift him which she can't and then says to use two hands becuase the map is in the hand he wasn't using. So she steals the map and leaves him. Which made me mad, but he sort of deserved it for being dumb, drunk, and stealing her flashlight.

She then walks around, gets turned around some how and finds Henry not in his hole. He tries to strangle her (I'm confused) and she gets free.

She then leaves the map she risked her life for to run away. She then finds "METRO" lines and follows them to a box to lead her up to the Metro area tunnel thing with the door she can't open. Oh yes, she found a pick-axe in a wheelbarrow.

This is what I would have done: After finding this electrical box for the Metro I would have turned it off so then people would be like "WTF MY TRAIN STOPPED!" and people would have to find the problem so then they'd have to come find me. Mad, yes. But I would have been found.

So then apparently the Anti-Christ is behind this Metro door (Which made no logical sense by the way Victoria is crazed) so she runs back to the Catacombs............. wtf?

But then Pink is really alive; as my sister and I thought would have happened. We were like "muhahaha what if Pink is really alive and just comes back and was like 'haha fooled ya'" at the end. And I said "Or she just goes crazy and then wakes up with Pink next to her insane asylum bed." Because I love movies to end in Insane Asylum's. Good stuff.

But anyways, Victoria Pick Axe's Pink's lovah in the face becuase she thought he was Anti-Christ but Hugo had a crazy pig...beaver....devil mask and was chasing her. And then Pink goes insane and yells at her like she has a mental issue. She was like "WHAT THE FUCK YOU CUNT ASS BITCH YOU KILLED HIM YOU'RE SO MESSED UP! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?! blah blah blah blah!" And then as this is happening, Victoria get's this look on her face, and I KNOW that look, and then we cut to the pick axe in her hand bouncing around as we then pan to her face to see a smirk as she raises the pick axe and picks Pink to death as well as Hugo and more Frenchies.

So then we go back to her narration of everybody and Pink is dead becuase of "Carolyn" sending her a postcard.

But I loooooooooooooooooooved the ending. That was the only good part about the movie. I loved it becuase I took a "theme" away with it. As "Nothing is as it seems."

Y'see, in the beginning we believe to whatever is living down in the Catacombs to have killed her sister & everybody ahh but it was her! Irony. GREAT irony. Good ending. Good ending.

I recommend the movie, but only give it two stars for the horrible rising action. BECAUSE THERE WAS A CHICKEN IN THE CATACOMBS! Okay if this was all really a prank there wouldn't have been a chicken in there and all these tools in a room to this "Lair" ... plooot hole. Is all I gotta say.

You Know Where To Find Me Anytime You Want Me

But I can't find my friend.

Called her house, "wasn't there", no show for school three days, going on four tomorrow. My French teacher got a note of the "she won't be showing up to class" deal. So... where is she?

I'm confused.

I have to call again today, I don't want to go over there because she probably won't be there.

Woo. Detective work works out for me.

My friend Ang has a burning party the other night. Burning Party = Burning old Diaries/Pictures anything from the past.

I said she'd regret it. It's to forget her ex-bff. I said I regretted it when I did that.
I burned a poem, just a thing I wrote a long time ago. A year or three ago maybe. I remember this day. I wrote it. And I wanted it the flames to be symbolic to ending my relationship with that person. It didn't work. I regretted it, I don't even remember what it said. I don't even remember writing it. I just remember burning it. The scraps now lay in my desk... charred... burned... never to be read again.

Yesterday at her & Al's bday party we were reminiscing about good times with Jon & Elaine and everybody and everytime we do that I say "those are the memories you burned." Because it's completely true. She'll never have those memories back. I read my old journals all the time. Not all the time, that's a lie. But I re-read it once. And I was like "I totally forgot that ever happened."

Apparently this never happened:

Ang: What are you learing in math?
Al: Verbs.

I went through hours looking through everything I've written in & couldn't find it.

I don't want to go back to school tomorrow.
I'm not sure how many times I'll say that.
Maybe enough to where I'm actually not in school anymore.

I played bass for the first time of my life yesterday. It was so tantalizing. Breathtaking. I enjoyed it more than anything. And then I played an acoustic bass... I want a bass so bad. I have for the past, I'm not sure. The past few months. It was only about 200 dollars. When I get that bass I could finally start my one man band. I have two guitars, a piano, a keyboard, a drumset, and a harmonica. Lol. I just need amps... and an electric guitar. And a synth!! I want a synth so bad. Synth, bass, electric guitar. :) Sounds nice.

Sounds perfect. That bass was amazing... it might've been the cheapest bass ever, but it was perfect in my eyes. I played it, I loved it.
I'm going to own a bass.

I was thinking "Ey, I'm like Hunter [Burgan] right now. Jammin' a bass." And then when we were leaving "The Con" came on. I was happy.

Yesterday was perfect. Except for the headache. Ate food, went to Barnes & Noble (read Inked !! my new favorite magazine), watched some Sox, and then went to the party & met up with old friends.

Good times.
Good times.

-Saying Not Scared, Still Worried

Build A Wall

I'm kind of sad I don't update on blogger anymore.
I've decided not to because I didn't want anyone reading my old ones because I thought they were extremely lame. I now realize what last summer was for.

Finding myself & talking to Mace for 40 hours. :)
I DEFINITELY am over that one chica i was talking about in one of the first posts. They're still dating. Have been for about 8 months or whatever. I'm not sure anymore. But the bad thing is .. I'm over her, but under a new girl. It's sad, I'm trying not to fancy her as much as I know I can, because I know it will never go anywhere.

Funny thing happened: I got up to go to the bathroom & then when I was done, I got out and my cat was outside the door meowing at me. So then I went downstairs to give her food and then it was the good food and cat food isn't good for dogs I was gonna wait around for her to be done. So then I was like, okay, what can I do? Ooh, pizza, yum. So then I got some pizza and looked on both couches for my brother, when he wasn't there I looked in the computer room and concluded he went to his bedroom to sleep tonight. When I looked outside I saw my neighbors walk across the street, and then her brother was trying to follow them also. A little boy was walking in front of my house who had no relation to them whatsoever. So then they ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS lose their dog Cupcake. So then Cupcake got out again and then the younger boy was yelling "CUPCAKE! CUPCAKE COME BACK!" and then started following his dog.

The little boy on my sidewalk passed the door i was looking out of and so did the dog. So then I walked over and looked out my side window and then I saw the little boy run really quickly away and then I saw the dog chasing after him. The neighbor was running after both of them trying to get his dog back.

It was really really funny.

People don't know how to control their dogs.

My sister is back from Florida.

I'm really really sad I didn't update this thing a lot now. : ( Because my last posts were so good and so awesome.
I miss updating here. Especially because nobody I knows reads it.

I got a twitter... ? twitter.com/thesounknown

Today is a FUN filled day...
I have to do:

1. English homework
2. Go to a 2-year-old's birthday party
3. Go to an 18-year-old's birthday party
4. Go to a meeting.

The meeting is about a France/Austria/Germany/England trip. "EuroTrip2010"
It's gonna be the summer of next year. Which will be extremely fun.
...if Meagan (the girl I rammed into in gym LOL) went to the World History Europe Trip... I would have went on the World History trip.
But since Jen, Stef & other cool people will probably go to the France Europe Trip I'd rather go on that one...
Which I'm planning on now.

Mostly because I'll actually have friends I talk to on this trip.

The World History trip, I'll have nobody to talk to at all. I'll be allll alone.

The France Trip meeting is at 1PM. It's currently 11:21, I have to take a shower soon.
I hope Stef is going to that meeting. Stef & Jen said they were gonna go.
I hope that the meeting is actually at 1PM.

I feel left out now that I'm not going to the World History trip now though...
They're at basically the exact same time... which is pretty lame...

This school year is almost over.

I'm currently failing English...
NOT GOOD.

I neeeeed to pass it, meaning I neeeed to get all A's for each and every assignment assigned from now until the end of the year!!!!!

Which will not happen, because there's hardly ANY assignments she assigns... : / I might fail English. Which is really really really really not good at all!!!!! I cannot fail.
If I still have an F or a D by the last two weeks I'm going to be forced to ask her if I can raise my grade at all aka like write a 5 page paper or read a book or something.

This is a really weird post to be posting because it's kind of like ...

Post Limbo.

Becuase it's me not updating, but updating on what's happening today and not... yesterday or five months before this post.

Oh yeah.

My brother is mad at me again.

For eating his rotini.

Everytime I bring home food from restaurants he eats it alll the time. He eats mine & my sisters, but when we eat his the whole world ends.

He gets angry over the smallest things...

As do I, but I forgive easily too. I'll get mad for maybe twenty minutes... I've never got SERIOSULY angry like he does. He gets angry and just doesn't speak to me for days at a time.

I don't understand him.

...I can't wait to go to France. It's about 430 days until the France trip... I cannot wait. :0)

I have about that many days to make 4000 dollars...

(4000 if you include how much I'd be brining to France...)

...I never go to see Tegan & Sara.

I didn't get to see them on a technicality.

I got my friend Ang to take me there. It went like this.
"How would you feel about going to a concert in a few months if I paied all expenses you were just the way to get me there? I'll pay for your ticket"
"Okay. What concert?"
"It's in October. There's another one too. In November."
"...What concert?"
"The first one is a Tegan & Sara concert, the second one is a Jack's Mannequin concert."
"Okay sure. Just remind me closer to the date."

And then I asked her a week in advance if I should buy the tickets...
And then a two days.
The day before she says she can't go because she's not allowed to drive anymore only to school and to work.

She said she was sorry but I said it was okay.
It really is okay.
But it's really not at the same time.

I learned the REAL reason why she couldn't go.

The real reason was she stayed too long at the I&M Canal and they closed their gates on her. So it was either get a trespassing ticket, or ram the gates with her car. She decided to open the gates with her car.

She told her parents she hit a pole at McDonalds... and they still think it's how it happened.

She went with Kevin, her now boyfried.

But before she dated him she told me he professed his love for her and she said they talked it out and they're fine.

But then a month or so later they were together.

A year ago Ang said she'd take me to prom with her, but Kevin says he wants to go with her and got mad at her when she said she wanted to take me. But that's reaaaaaaally okay. She can seriously go with him, I don't mind not going with her. (I really didn't want to go in the first place.)

But.

The reason I didn't go to a Tegan and Sara concert in Chicago was because I can't drive and she couldn't drive either... it makes me mad that the only thing between T and S and me were 40 miles.... FORTY MILES. ::shakes head::

That upsets me.

...I got to go to a Jack's Mannequin concert which was over 300 miles away!
Oh well.
I'll get over it (never) when I go to a concert. of theirs soon.
In the near future.
Becuase they're supposed to be putting a CD out in late Autumn.

Okay. I'm about done now, since I have to shower & have a full day ahead of me...

-Needing Time