You Know Where To Find Me Anytime You Want Me

But I can't find my friend.

Called her house, "wasn't there", no show for school three days, going on four tomorrow. My French teacher got a note of the "she won't be showing up to class" deal. So... where is she?

I'm confused.

I have to call again today, I don't want to go over there because she probably won't be there.

Woo. Detective work works out for me.

My friend Ang has a burning party the other night. Burning Party = Burning old Diaries/Pictures anything from the past.

I said she'd regret it. It's to forget her ex-bff. I said I regretted it when I did that.
I burned a poem, just a thing I wrote a long time ago. A year or three ago maybe. I remember this day. I wrote it. And I wanted it the flames to be symbolic to ending my relationship with that person. It didn't work. I regretted it, I don't even remember what it said. I don't even remember writing it. I just remember burning it. The scraps now lay in my desk... charred... burned... never to be read again.

Yesterday at her & Al's bday party we were reminiscing about good times with Jon & Elaine and everybody and everytime we do that I say "those are the memories you burned." Because it's completely true. She'll never have those memories back. I read my old journals all the time. Not all the time, that's a lie. But I re-read it once. And I was like "I totally forgot that ever happened."

Apparently this never happened:

Ang: What are you learing in math?
Al: Verbs.

I went through hours looking through everything I've written in & couldn't find it.

I don't want to go back to school tomorrow.
I'm not sure how many times I'll say that.
Maybe enough to where I'm actually not in school anymore.

I played bass for the first time of my life yesterday. It was so tantalizing. Breathtaking. I enjoyed it more than anything. And then I played an acoustic bass... I want a bass so bad. I have for the past, I'm not sure. The past few months. It was only about 200 dollars. When I get that bass I could finally start my one man band. I have two guitars, a piano, a keyboard, a drumset, and a harmonica. Lol. I just need amps... and an electric guitar. And a synth!! I want a synth so bad. Synth, bass, electric guitar. :) Sounds nice.

Sounds perfect. That bass was amazing... it might've been the cheapest bass ever, but it was perfect in my eyes. I played it, I loved it.
I'm going to own a bass.

I was thinking "Ey, I'm like Hunter [Burgan] right now. Jammin' a bass." And then when we were leaving "The Con" came on. I was happy.

Yesterday was perfect. Except for the headache. Ate food, went to Barnes & Noble (read Inked !! my new favorite magazine), watched some Sox, and then went to the party & met up with old friends.

Good times.
Good times.

-Saying Not Scared, Still Worried